The Man In The Sant Costume

Last year I was pretty broke, so I was looking for work in a bad way. Now, I’m a hefty fellow, and Christmas was coming up, so the thought entered my head to play Santa at the local mall. I dimly knew that it was supposed to be quite an ordeal, but like I said, I was desperate. I went to the mall manager’s office and asked about the position. She said I could play Santa, but I would have to rent the Santa Costume for $150. I asked how much the pay would be for the week, and she said it would be minimum wage. That’s when I spun on my heel and walked out the door. No way would I work that gig, with kids crying and throwing out on me, and have the rent the Santa Costume.